breathe.

*Sigh... the struggles of life.  I always used to say, I feel bad for those people who have a hard time with day to day life.  I believe that sickness is created in the mind and that as long as you have the strength to over power it, you're all good.  Well, recently, I was finding myself to be one of these people who got too much in my head and found myself having an internal war.  "Stop the negativity!"  "This not you!"  "Um! Be Happy!"  I quickly discovered that just like everyone else, I am human and have lots of emotions - that often are left neglected.

When you start to feel like a complete crazy person, the last thing you want to do is talk to the people you luv about it.  Then they think you're crazy and next thing you know, you're in the nut house surrounded by a lot more crazy people.  This was the point that I had gotten to... which is really scary. 

It took me four hundred and sixty eight days to determine that I was unhappy with the way my life was going.  I talk about making lifestyle changes and doing really awesome things.  But, I have lacked emphasis on doing things for yourself.  Eating healthy makes me happy because I know that I am doing good for my body.  Of course I luv my friends and family and they make me happy!  But, I have to think about the whole picture... this is a quote I often reflect back to... one of my favs!!!

"There is no point in being gorgeous if your life is a mess. End your co-dependent relationships, quit your dead end job and ditch your toxic friends. This is your life!”-Skinny Bitch 

That being said, I would like to welcome you to my new journey.  I have been pressing the play button and hummed along to what I thought was the soundtrack to my life (of course, pausing when appropriate).  Now, it's time to make my own music... and dance!!!  I am a believer that you can have it all and that the only person holding you back is yourself.  Consider me to be the girl grabbing life by the bull horns... Until next time ;)

a taste of the farmers market.

What a beautiful morning!  Look how pretty the sky was!  Oh my gosh, what a wonderful day to go to the Farmer's Market!

If you live in Southern California, then you have probably been to the Grove on Fairfax and 3rd.  If you haven't, GO! It's so awesome, they have amazing fresh produce and tons of different foods from all around the world.  Look!

I absolutely luv walking through and finding little treasures to take home as souvenir's.  Check out this fabulous vintage Barbie bag that I found, and of course had to have :)

They also have the best Gourmet store... this is where I bought my first Coconut Oil ever!  By the way, it's the best oil to cook with... yes, even better than olive oil.  I got this little piece of Great information from Skinny Bitch - when most oils are heated at high temperatures, it changes their molecular structures, causing free radicals (HUH!?) - Basically, free radicals have been linked to heart disease and cancer.  Get smart :) Get coconut oil :)

For you animal luvers, check out the doggie store!  Aside from these adorable "PUGZ" for doggie feet, they have little treats for your furry friends and cute little outfits!!! Aww!!! Yea, you know I went home with all the goods for my pups.

Not into the whole Farmer's Market thing?  Well, step outside to great shops and restaurants!  We had the best time exploring and shopping! 

And eating too :) 

After lunch, it was off to the studio to make some sweet music!  To make this day even better, we passed 2 gardein billboards within a one mile radius on the way!  This makes me smile :) GO GREEN!!!

And the perfect ending to a perfect day, we recorded a luv song together :) Stay tuned, this will be coming soon!!!

flashback.

This may seem really random, but have you seen the move You Again?  I was rummaging through my Netflix the other day and came across this comedy and was in the mood for something light and funny so this one won.  It was kind of corny, as most chick flicks are, but it did have a good message that brought me back...

Before I start my ranting, let me catch you up and get you on the same page.  Basically, nerdy girl gets picked on in high school by bully girl.  They go separate ways in life... nerdy girl gets called back into town for brother's wedding.  Brother is marrying bully girl.  Typical!  Through the movie, all nerdy girl wants is acknowledgement from bully girl... apologies for being a bully.  But bully girl does not give any indication that she even remembers her and the war begins - you want the rest, go watch the movie!  It's actually really funny :)

My story... I had a great time growing up.  If you know me from back then, you know I was all about having a good time.  Sometimes so much of a good time that it was at the expense of someone else.  I luved my friends more than anything and spent as much time with them as possible!  But, I was not always the nicest girl.  Much of my high school and college days were spent convincing my friends to skip class, talk smack and chasing boys - my favorite!  Back then I believed those were "the days" and I definitely enjoyed them to the fullest.  Looking back now, I probably hurt a lot of people in my path and those bad decisions that I made impacted a lot of people.  It was my own immaturity and insecurities that really shine through now when I reflect back.  Unfortunately, I can not go back in time and change my behavior.  In fact, those days will always be a part of me and to anyone that I ever offended or hurt, I am very sorry.  I often have this fear when I go back to my home town that I will run into someone that will remember something horrible about me from my past and throw it in my face.  A lot of the inspiration behind my transformation was to start over and be a good person. 

I made a promise to myself and to the world a long time ago that I would do good and be good.  As Gandhi says, "Be the change you want to see in the world" ...I believe that each of us have the power to change.  I talk a lot about being healthy and making lifestyle changes.  Positivity is a lifestyle change.  Confidence is a lifestyle change.  It's not all about what you eat (...although it is a big part of it!) or how you look, it's how you feel!  It's how you feel about yourself; it's about how you feel about others.  Your compassion, your luv of live and the aura you put into the universe.  Know that smiling at a stranger can make their day brighter.  Paying it forward is not only good for your own Karma, it makes others feel good too.  When they feel good... that will be passed onto someone else... and someone else... and the domino effect continues!

I know now that I am true and good.  All of my bad choices in life have resulted in a lot of experiences, both good and bad, that helped mold me into who I am today.  Thankfully, I have the opportunity everyday to be a good person... and so do you :)

 

saturday in the city of angels.

Since Jams and I started as friends, we kind of missed out on the whole honeymoon stage of dating.  Our lives are super crazy and we are always working on some sort of project.  I mean, we go out to dinner occasionally, and take days off to hang by the beach... but the whole "wining and dining" part was skipped.  As a romantic, I like going to amazing restaurants with a view... have some wine... enjoy some great food and spend that quality time with the ones I luv.  

I had read about Yamashiro in Hollywood and just knew that Jams would luv it there.  Between the history and the Japanese food how could he not!  I did a little more research and decided that I wanted this to be a surprise.  I made reservations and told him not to make plans... I was taking him out for the night!  To make the night even better, I made reservations as the Hollywood Hills Hotel so we wouldn't have to drive home... no one wants to drive home after dinner and drinks!  I put together a little scavenger hunt of clues so he would have some hints on where we were going and what we were doing :)

So Saturday night, we headed up to Hollywood Hills and had the best time!  He was super excited and really surprised.  He kept saying throughout the night "This is so cool!" which made it that much better.  I would definitely recommend trying this spot out if you are in the Los Angeles area, the food is spectacular! 

speak.

This week started off super amazing... my mind was open, my brain was a sponge for knowledge and life was great!!!  Then I got a call that someone very close to me was in the hospital for something pretty serious - My Dad.  He had blood clots in his lungs - again - and was lucky to be alive - again.  In one instant, my mind flipped the switch, and my positivity walked out the door.  I was feeling anxious and nervous and sad... hearing news like that makes you think of the worst things that could possibly happen and it's really scary.

After I wrapped my head around what was going on, all I wanted to do was talk to my dad.  Tell him how much I luved him and how I was there for him.  Make sure he understood how much I appreciated him and everything he has ever done for me.  How sorry I was for disappointing him when I was younger and explain how he's been my hero and how he has had such a big influence on me in my life.  Luckily for me, I have the opportunity to still tell him all those things.  He is on the road to recovery and his journey is far from over.

I believe 100% that it is so important to talk about how you feel.  Whether it's happy, sad or some mixed emotion in the middle, the worst thing you can do it hold it inside of you.   Sometimes things happen and the chance to say what you mean is not there.  Cherish the people you luv and embrace life... one moment could change anything.

lifestyle changes.

Have you ever tried to do something you never thought you could do? Some of you might have. If you succeeded, you probably shared with your friends or family because you were proud of yourself. That's good! You should share your accomplishments!  You never know who will be inspired by your story! Have you tried something and it didn't go so well? Thought you could do it, but then ended up gave up? That's ok too. It's in those trying times that we don't quite make it that we find the path to success. Keep trying, because your mind is the most powerful thing... and if you believe you can do something - you can.

Jams vowed on the day I stopped smoking that he would not eat meat anymore. This, to me, seemed like an unequal change of lifestyle. Um, do you know how hard it is to quit smoking!? I have tried, like, a bazillion freaking times and it has never worked! Plus, I'm already vegan so how hard could it possibly be to stop eating meat? I mean, come on... I was already cooking for him so it seemed like an easy transition. No more fast food... no more steaks... no more free buffet at Bajas... no more taco truck... no... No... NO!!!!

When you make a big change in your life, your mind automatically switches to the "I can't have this" or "I can't do that" mindset. You think about the "I cant's" and it's tough. Unless you have something inside of you reminding you WHY you are making these changes, it is very hard to stick with it and that is why most people relapse. Look at alcoholics or drug addicts... those addictions are SO bad that they have centers for these people to go to for support for the withdrawals. And even after a significant amount of time, there is no saying if they will stay sober. That's why it is very important to find the WHY when making a big change. Keep people around you that will support you and remember those "whys" so you can reflect on them in those times of temptation!

While we are on this topic, let's discuss this whole thing about men and meat. A man's mentality tends to think - Strong, Hunter... Carnivore! Many believe that a REAL man eats meat. Being a woman, I never thought about this too much when Jams stopped eating meat. It really didn't come into my mind until he started communicating with his friends and family what he was doing. Everyone gave him a hard time and to make matters worse - of course, it was my fault. Thankfully, he IS a strong man and also a very knowledgeable man. He had his reason why he was changing his eating habits, and believe it or not, it was not my doing at all. He watched this movie, called Forks Over Knives, and saw certain health benefits not just for himself but also for some family members and people he knew that might benefit from changing a few bad habits.

Well, in the end - to each's own. We all have this wonderful thing called choices. Whether we make good ones or bad ones there is always something to gain. Let's just hope when we do make those bad decisions we remember those experiences for the next time we see that same fork in the road.

You can do whatever you put your mind too... I still can't believe that it's been almost a year and we're still smoke & meat free :)

poker night.

On Friday night, the west coast part of the family came over for dinner.  I was super excited to have everyone at our house and wanted to make sure it was a special night.  Jams and I worked hard to get everything tidied up and prepared an amazing menu for our very important guests!

Whenever you know you're having people over, there is always that big question... what should we make for dinner?  Not all of my family is veg so I definitely think about what I can make for them, that they will luv, that is not made from animals.  I am not one to sit here and push my beliefs on anyone else, but if I can make them a vegan meal and have them enjoy it, than I have made them aware of healthier choices.  We decided to go with some black bean burgers to match the theme... poker night in the saloon.  I found an amazing vegan recipe on Daily Garnish and we went to work!

It is always nice to have a helper in the kitchen!  I am very grateful to have Jams by my side.  He does all the stirring for me and in this particular case, he molded all the burgers into perfect little circles!

I prepared everything the night before so that things would run a bit smoother when it got close to crunch time.  As a side, we choose to make roasted potatoes with rosemary, thyme and sage as well as crispy roast asparagus.  Both were very easy to make and came out really yummy.

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Everything was coming together... but where were our guests!?  Oops, looks like they're running late!  Better open up some wine and give Jams a beer while we wait :)

Everyone arrived, and we had a great time!  Food was great too :) and to make the night EVEN better... Jams won at Poker!  I'm not sure my Dad or brother liked that too much, but we got to all spend time together and that was all I wanted.

 

Sometimes I take for granted the fact that my family lives so close.  I try and make an effort to go see them but it's so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life.  Words from the wise... try and see the ones you luv as much as possible because, unfortunately, tomorrow is never promised to any of us. 

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!  Happy Monday!

the big O.

What's the big deal with Organics?  They cost more money, they don't always look the best on the shelf and if I actually decide to buy organic, how do I know that they REALLY are organic?  Well, lucky for you, I am going to tell you :)

Who doesn't like a home cooked meal in a slow cooker?  Whether it's a stew, a chili or a brisket the longer you let it sit, the better it is.  Think of this next time you're at the grocery store.  Those organic products you see have been soaking on the slow cycle in a great marinade - the good wholesome Earth! Because they have had time to absorb that carbon-rich soil, they have had time to develop thicker cell walls which gives them a more concentrated flavor.  Studies show that organic products are loaded with more antioxidants and vitamins than chemically grown products.

That's not enough for you?  Ok, well organic goods are biodegradable and come straight from the ground - let's get rid of all those middle men!  When you buy organic, you are limiting the food's travel from production to your kitchen.  Not only that, but consider protecting yourself, and your family, from those nasty chemicals and pollutants that are used to grow so many consumer products these days.  Keep in mind too - children are said to be more vulnerable to the effects of pesticide residue than adults...

Check your labels too... I am that chick that stands in the aisle reading every ingredient.  If I don't know what something is, I don't put in my cart.  This is very important because so many food companies try and trick us consumers with how they market their products.  If something says that it's made with organic ingredients, you can be sure that maybe 70 percent is actually organic.

Geez, this is becoming a lot of work, huh.  Just know, it's in your best interest to buy the most true and pure produce with 100 percent organic ingredients.  Even though times are tough and a few dollars here and there add up, just be aware of what you're putting in your body.  You are what you eat!

a pugs life.

Only a pet owner can truly understand the luv between a dog and their owner.  Before I had my own furry friends, I liked dogs... but now I think they are the most amazing little creatures!  Sure, they bark at things and occasionally poop on the carpet... but anger causes people to bark at others once in awhile!  And I could tell you some stories about people I know who have pooped in way worse places... but that is neither here nor there!

These furry little friends are my pugs, Peanut and Potato!  Cute huh!  They look sweet and innocent and they definitely luv to cuddle, but they have been known to get themselves in their share of trouble too... especially when the other kids, Spud, Tater & Pickle are around - instigators! :)

Let's take a trip down memory lane... once upon a pugs life, there was a cute little womanizer pug named Potato.  He befriended his cute little roommate, AbbyCakes and they fell in luv.  Aww!  Sure, they fought over treats and argued occasionally, but at the end of the day, they would cuddle in their bed and snore a sweet pug snore in sync.  Boy, did they go on lots of adventures together.  They would accompany us to Sunday Funday, take long walks on HB Dog Beach and spend afternoons in the park.  Watch their video here... they look so cute on those swings!!!

Potato and Abbycakes decided one day that it would be fun to run away together and go on a little surprise "honeymoon."  This, of course, threw us off quite a bit.  While they were out having fun roaming the streets of Huntington Beach, we were out putting fliers everywhere and frantically going door to door in search of them.  Abbycakes had her litter just weeks prior to them getting out and was still nursing her babies.  I sure felt bad for those little pups, they really needed their mom to take care of them!  To make matters even worse, Potato and Abbycakes forgot to wear their handy-dandy collars with their names and phone numbers.  We were devastated :(  Thankfully, a nice little Taco Truck driver found these two begging for scraps.  He decided to keep them for a couple days - probably thinking that the little perrito was prego with her sagging belly.  After some bad behavior and lots of barking, he decided he was ready to give them back to us and we were thrilled!

The little puglets were so happy to have their mom and dad back, it was the cutest thing!  Seeing them all play together and watch each other learn and grow was so amazing - I became very attached.  They were getting bigger and  more and more curious about the outside world.  They ran around everywhere sniffing and climbing... it started to get a little bit harder to take care of them!  It was almost time to let them go.

I'm sure you moms out there can understand how hard it must be to give up your kids!  But the day eventually came, and we had to give the puppies to their new parents.  It was a bittersweet day.  As hard as it was for me to see them go, I got to see the looks on their new parents faces.  Priceless!  They were all so happy to have their new furry friends!  I was very happy to see them all go to great homes.  Thankfully, they all went to friends so I still see most of them pretty frequently :)

If you don't luv them yet, you will!  These little munchkins will be making appearances throughout my blogs so be prepared to hear all about our endeavors together! 

a new year. a new blog.

Well, it only seems appropriate to begin my first official blog at the start of a brand new year!  I'm not sure how this journey will go but I am very excited to be able to share my life with my family and friends - near and far! and anyone else interested in what I'm up to over here in beautiful Southern California.

As I sit here with the sunshine beating into the room, I feel spoiled! and also very sad for all my friends that are experiencing the heart of winter in upstate New York.  Since I moved to California five years ago, each "winter" has been bliss!  I hate to brag, but I hope all of you know, my door is always open if you need a little vaca from the cold.

Last year was amazing... I discovered the luv of my life, Kenjamin - or Jams, had been in front of me for quite some time.  Yes, a best friend turned luver!  Ah, I knew the moment I saw this picture :)

Him being a very talented artist and master of many different trades and me as the "master communicator" we have proven to be an unbeatable team.  We embraced our unity and combined our powers throughout the year and did various photo shoots, music videos, fashion shows, events - the sky has been the limit!  And don't you worry, there is much much more to were we will be going with all of that...Nothing but Greatness!

Our pug, Potato, who is now three, had five little puppies - the runt being the only girl of the litter and therefore, my new best friend Peanut.  She has proven herself to be a tiny ball of fire with a little personality of her own.  She luvs to play and cause a bit of mischief but how can you be mad at that little face...

My personal accomplishment of the year was quitting smoking.  A dirty, dirty habit that I forever blame myself for.  That being said, a slight shout out to all my friends in High School that believed me when I told them it was the cool thing to do... I am so sorry!  Much of the year was adjusting my lifestyle to be a non-smoker and to this day, I have not had one drag (Yay me!).  Hopefully throughout my posts, you smokers out there will be inspired to want to stop... believe me, you can't even begin to imagine how much time is wasted while smoking!

My passion in life is food.  I have been vegetarian, pescitarian and I am now vegan.  Changing the way I eat has in turn changed me for the better.  I feel very fortunate to have the support from those around me.  I am very thankful that Jams has joined me on the veg team (more on that to come!).  It has made cooking easier and much more enjoyable when we can sit down and actually have the same thing on our plate!  I have to say, there's nothing I luv more than the challenge of having our meat-eater friends over for dinner and serving them veg food!  They are very quick to tell their opinion, but when they eat the food I cook them, they always enjoy it!  Stay tuned for some amazing recipes and food pictures! 

Now, I'm off to enjoy the beautiful outdoors :)